The Here and This and Now Read online

  We both just knew.

  Beat.

  NIALLI don’t remember. I honestly… I just.

  Nothing happened. We didn’t kiss or.

  HELENNo but, but there was a moment.

  Like, we were just looking at each other and we knew that if we just took it, then…

  If one of us had reached out or.

  But we didn’t need to, because it was enough.

  This moment. A definite moment.

  It’s – it’s why you got rid of me.

  NIALLHelen, there was no moment.

  There’s never been a moment.

  Beat.

  Look, sweetheart, you’ve got my attention. And

  I want to help you.

  I’m going to try and help you, Helen.

  I can get you on lists. Priority lists. For new trials and.

  And we can get your son attention. When something new comes up, we can…

  But there’s no Unicorn Pills.

  There’s no secret stash.

  There just – there isn’t.

  HELENThere was a moment.

  NIALLNo.

  HELEN and NIALL look at each other. After some time, she moves to the PowerPoint a nd clicks to the next slide.

  It reads:

  ‘The different ways I will (regrettably) torture you:’

  She pauses then clicks. With each click, continuing to make eye contact.

  ‘ – sandpaper your fingertips.’

  ‘ – make tiny incisions on your eyeballs.’

  ‘ – attach your nostrils to hooks and slowly drag them across the room.’

  ‘ – peel open your testicles then rub them in salt.’

  ‘ – make you watch it all.’

  They both look at the slide for a while.

  HELEN(Slowly and precisely.) Niall, I’m going to give you an opportunity.

  I’m giving you an opportunity but you need to say something. You need to say something now.

  Beat. NIALL is silent.

  Niall?

  Why aren’t you saying anything?

  NIALL(Calmly.)I – I don’t think you will.

  HELENYou don’t think I will?

  NIALLI don’t think you will.

  HELENYou don’t think I will?

  NIALLNo.

  HELENOkay. Okay.

  Beat.

  Can I just ask why you don’t think I will?

  Beat.

  NIALLBecause.

  Because I know you, Helen.

  I know you.

  Do you remember the ‘Kill’ moment.

  Do you remember what that was?

  It’s the moment that, the moment that brings the sale.

  The moment you look in the punter’s eyes with absolute conviction – even if you know that what you’re selling them is no better than the drug they already use.

  Or maybe even worse.

  And you have to hold it.

  You have to hold their gaze no matter what.

  And then you have to act. You have to seize the moment and act.

  Do you remember it?

  Well, you could never do it.

  Could never hold your nerve. Could never bear that moment.

  You would always cave in.

  Offer to let them go away and think about it.

  It’s why you were terrible at your job.

  Why we had to let you go.

  She pauses for a moment. She looks at him.

  Then switches on the sander.

  What are you doing?

  HELEN brings his finger up to it.

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  FUCK!

  There is blood.

  She lets his hand go for a second.

  What have you done to me?

  Fuck!

  Fuck.

  Please, Helen. I have children! You’ve met my children. You know my children. Please. I need to be there for them.

  She looks at him for a moment then scrolls through the PowerPoint on her laptop. Clicks on the slide she’s looking for.

  Headline ‘How much I care about your children vs how much I care about my children’.

  Clicks again.

  A pie chart appears. A huge section of the pie chart says ‘My children’ and a tiny sliver says ‘your children’.

  HELENSorry, that’s a typo. That should say actually say ‘my child’.

  Not children.

  My child.

  NIALLHelen, please.

  HELEN goes back to sorting out the tools and implements.

  HELENI’m going to offer you one more chance, Niall.

  One more chance and then I’m going to begin.

  NIALLI don’t know what to say.

  HELEN busies herself setting things up.

  Helen, please –

  Pause. NIALL is broken by this point.

  (Quietly.) It suits you, Helen.

  HELENSorry?

  NIALLThis suits you.

  HELENWhat are you talking about? Why are you talking about what I’m –

  NIALLNot your clothes.

  This.

  The moment.

  It suits you.

  HELENWhat – what’s that supposed to mean?

  NIALLI can see it. I can smell it off you.

  The thrill.

  HELEN stops what she is doing.

  HELENYou think – you think I’m enjoying this?

  NIALLI think, I think you’ve never felt so fucking alive. You know?

  I mean you tell yourself that this is the most horrific… that you are living through a kind of hell but you’re, you’re starring in your own blockbuster, Helen.

  Look at you. You’re loving this.

  HELENThat’s not –

  No.

  NIALLThe excitement, it’s – it’s vibrating off you /

  HELENI’m a good person!

  I’m a really good person, Niall!

  NIALLYou’re going to do it, aren’t you?

  You’re going to do it because deep down, you hate me. People like you always hate me. Because I’ve worked at life. I’ve worked at it, even when it’s petty or stupid or mean or doesn’t make sense. When it just degrades you. Because I’d do anything to make a better life for my kids. I’ve done anything. I’ve rolled up my sleeves and taken my shoes off and I’ve walked head-first into the – into the swamp.

  I’ve attacked it. I’ve tried.

  And you hate me for that. People like you who have let life wash over you.

  People like you who are too scared to even try.

  HELENThat’s not true!

  NIALLLook at you, Helen, you’re really living.

  You’ll look me in the eye and it will be the worst, the worst and the most brilliant, the most vital and thrilling moment of your whole fucking sadsackexistence.

  HELENI’m doing this for my son. That’s all. My son!

  NIALLRight.

  HELENI’m not taking pleasure in this. I won’t take pleasure in it. I won’t.

  Even though, yes, you fired me.

  Even though your bonus that year was basically

  my wages.

  Even though my children were in the same class as your children and sometimes played together.

  Even though I was there when your wife wasn’t.

  Pleaded with you not to sack me.

  Pleaded and bargained.

  Even though you were basically a balding, pigeon-eyed cunt who took my wages.

  I’m going to torture you, Niall, but I promise you

  I won’t take pleasure in it.

  But I’m going to do it. I’m going to do it now.

  I’ll take a pair of pliers and I’ll slowly pull your spine out through your arsehole and I’d do that again and again and again if there’s a chance, if there’s the briefest, smallest chance that it will save my son.

  Beat. She moves over to the table.
<
br />   Click.

  New slide. ‘Any questions?’

  Click.

  ‘Thank you!’

  NIALLHelen.

  HELENI’m doing this for my son.

  NIALLI don’t have any.

  HELENSay there was a moment.

  NIALLHelen. Please.

  HELENJust say there was a moment.

  NIALLHelen.

  Beat.

  HELENOkay.

  Beat.

  Okay.

  Beat.

  Okay, um.

  HELEN stands there for a moment, uncertain. Then, a sudden frenzy. Screams.

  Blackout.

  PART C: ONE MORE PRESENTATION

  Total darkness.

  During the following speech, the stage very gradually becomes lighter. Together sound and visuals combine to create a wonderful, sensory experience and speak of a bright, exciting future. A thin, pillar-like platform rises from the floor. On the platform sits A., a small, beautiful, mixed-heritage child, playing happily with a toy dinosaur. By the end of the scene, the platform has risen high into the air.

  VOICEHello.

  And thank you.

  Thank you for being here with us today.

  We’re nearly at an end.

  But before you go, I’d like to ask you a question.

  Can I ask you a question?

  When were you happiest?

  At which point were you most happy?

  When was the most perfect moment of your life?

  What is the moment of your life that you will remember until the day you die?

  Can you cast your mind back?

  Can you remember?

  Now. Take yourself back there for a moment.

  Take yourself back to that moment and try to remember.

  How did it feel?

  What did it feel like to be in that moment?

  Were you alone or with other people?

  Where were you?

  Was the sun on your back?

  Were you floating in the cool waters of a lake?

  Were you nine years old?

  Were you in love?

  Why do you remember it?

  How did you feel?

  Exactly how did you feel?

  Do you think you will ever feel that way again?

  Beat.

  I know it hasn’t been easy.

  We have all lost so much and come so far.

  The world we knew as children no longer exists.

  That world has gone and a new world has emerged.

  A world of uncertainty, a world we don’t know.

  The virus – the virus that decimated our planet;

  That took the ones we love;

  That held us in its thrall for nearly half a century.

  The virus has finally been beaten.

  But at what cost to ourselves?

  We are no longer the same people we once were.

  We are in fact a different race.

  Yes, we will regroup.

  We will rebuild.

  Our planet is once again healing and a natural order is returning to the earth.

  But is that enough?

  Is that ‘progress’?

  Is that moving forward?

  Don’t we want more?

  Perhaps now is the time.

  Beat.

  The time to think differently.

  The time for a new way.

  To dare to ask the question. What if?

  What if the problem isn’t the planet that we live on?

  What if the problem isn’t our world?

  What if the problem is so much closer than we think.

  What if the problem is inside us? Inside our minds.

  Now imagine if we could change that.

  Imagine if we could change the very way we experience life from moment to moment.

  Change it to something extraordinary and hopeful.

  Something bright and new.

  Experience life in a whole new way.

  No more fear.

  No more boredom.

  Live every day, every single moment of every single day to its very fullest.

  From the moment you are conceived to the moment you die.

  Every day.

  Every single second.

  Like – like your very best memory.

  Like a child at Christmas.

  Like falling in love.

  Wouldn’t you want that?

  Shouldn’t we try?

  To not just change the world but change ourselves?

  It’s time.

  Time to make life better.

  Time to go further.

  Time to reimagine the journey of life itself.

  Here at McCabe, we’ve been working on this for years.

  And today we can proudly show you the results:

  Introducing Preponin X, our breakthrough neuro-enhancer.

  Harnessing the knowledge developed to defeat the second-wave virus mutation, we’ve created the first treatment to permanently and safely edit the brain’s negative responses.

  Using ova and sperm stored by pre-virus members of our workforce in our cryopreservation facilities in the Scottish Highlands we’ve created a new human line that, with the help of Preponin X, will achieve a new and perfected form of consciousness.

  A human line that, from the cradle to the grace, will experience a continuous and unceasing state of happiness and well-being.

  We’ll go into the clinical data a bit more in this afternoon’s session but for now simply imagine.

  And then realise that we can…

  That we have.

  Here is life as it is meant to be lived.

  Here is human progress.

  Life reimagined.

  Here is the moment.

  Now is the moment.

  The everlasting moment.

  Thank you for your time.

  The child looks up from playing and smiles at the audience.

  A warm, bright smile held too long.

  Blackout.

  Ends.

  GLENN WALDRON

  Glenn’s first play Forever House premiered at the Drum, Theatre Royal Plymouth in 2013. Following a production at Düsseldorfer Schauspielhaus and readings in Oslo, Berlin and Amsterdam as part of Company of Angel’s European Writers Lab, Glenn’s play Natives opened at Southwark Playhouse in March 2017, produced by Boundless Theatre. Glenn is the former Editor of i-D magazine and his work has appeared in The New York Times, the Guardian, the Independent and Vogue.

  A Nick Hern Book

  The Here and This and Now first published in Great Britain as a paperback original in 2017 by Nick Hern Books Limited, The Glasshouse, 49a Goldhawk Road, London W12 8QP

  The Here and This and Now copyright © 2017 Glenn Waldron

  This ebook first published in 2017

  Glenn Waldron has asserted his right to be identified as the author of this work

  Cover image: Dragonfly Design

  Designed and typeset by Nick Hern Books, London

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  ISBN 978 1 84842 647 4 (print edition)

  ISBN 978 1 78001 875 1 (ebook edition)

  CAUTION This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

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